Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Diagnosis

I've been working my way through my own feelings, then through having to tell each family member and thought that it would be at least a few more days before I was able to share an update with the rest of our world....but she wants me to go ahead and post her that is still hard to say and I wish would disappear as easily as it does when I hit backspace or delete.

Ashlyn has a form of cancer called Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma. It is very rare, esp. in the US....mostly prevalent in Asian countries. Statistically, only 7 out of 1 million in North America develop this type of cancer. Out of that 7 in a million, it is very rare for children to get it. Also very rare for females to get it. She is in the less than 7 in 1 million people to have this type of cancer in North America. :'( The cancer starts in the pharynx and is very hard to detect....symptoms are identical to common cold or virus symptoms. It spreads to the lymph nodes in the neck, which is when ppl find out they have it. When I took Ashlyn in to first get her checked out, she had one lump in her neck. She now has 3. We have an apptmt. at Nemours on Wed...the next step is to do "lots more scans and tests" to determine if it has spread to any other areas.

Most of you, if you know Ashlyn casually, know her as my sweet, quiet girl. And she is. But, as with all of us, her personality is not one dimensional and there is much more to her than meets the eye. ;) She is also my feisty, sassy, STRONG-WILLED one. People often make that "strong-willed" personality trait into a negative one.....and she has never liked the label. But the Bible tells us that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made"....and I have taught her, and my other two children that Truth. That when He "knit them together in their mother's womb" and made them so fearfully and wonderfully....that included each and every personality trait and characteristic that makes them who they are. I believe that He made everything for good.....and that the traits in HER, that we struggle with the most are the ones that Satan wants to use to hinder us. Because those traits, when given wholeheartedly to the Lord and when they are submitted completely & repeatedly to Him, are the ones that He will use the most to make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. I reminded Ashlyn of that tonight, as I looked into those blue eyes that I love so much and broke her heart with news I didn't want to deliver, in the process breaking mine, too. I reminded her that He made her naturally strong physically....and that her strong will was not given to her by accident. He knew the days ahead of her when He created her.....He knew and equipped her with everything she needs to be victorious in this battle, and every battle that comes her way in the future. I reminded her of that and many other things in my efforts to calm her fears, dry her tears and help soften the blow she didn't see coming. I also told her that she already had people praying for her.....from here in Jax and all over the country, who didn't even know her diagnosis yet. That she has so many that love and care about her and to let them love on her and encourage her, because that is one way that the Lord will love her & give her strength to get through this. She wants those prayers, needs that love & encouragement, and with tears and fear in those sweet blue eyes, she told me to go ahead and tell everyone.

I don't want to hit "post". I don't want to put it out there and have it be true. I want to take it out of her body and put it into mine instead. But I can't. And it is. And I have to. Because she needs the prayers........we all do.


No comments: