Thursday, June 26, 2014

Nasal Scope

Came to this appt w/ a girl who has a tear stained face. :'( Tears from fear & tears from the trauma & stress of everything else. This is the stoic one who I rarely get more from than a roll of the eyes, attitude, and a "it doesn't matter" when I push & pry. Wish I cld do this nasal scope for her. And struggling to keep the mama bear claws retracted over the rest....

Being a mama is hard. An...d heart wrenching. I want to fix everything in her world. And I can't. :/ Doing my best, but my best never seems good enough.

♫ I want to live above the world,
Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
For faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I’ll pray till rest I’ve found,
“Lord, lead me on to higher ground ♫

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Information Overload...

Update on Ashlyn: follow-up to get results of CT/CAT scan appt for Friday has been cancelled. I got a phone call instead.....we have to do a biopsy on the lymph nodes in her neck. Appt. at Nemours tmrw morning for a consult with another Dr. & to have her nose scoped for swollen adenoids. Non-surgical biopsy in radiology on Friday. If they are not able to get answers non-surgically, we will have possible surgery next Tuesday to remove lymph nodes and biopsy.

Meanwhile, I am trying to complete 6 online courses in 3 days for a part time job so that I can take exams for them on Saturday (& not sure how I'm going to retain the course info for those exams), begin the day bright & early with an atty appt. tomorrow, then Nemours, then to fill out paperwork for part time job & do a cpl other things for that, prepare to switch from one temporary living location to another, have a court date coming up next week.....and can't remember what time I need to pick up my son from his Miami missions trip tmrw. Please pray that I don't forget to do that!! ;)

I'm not freaking out...but that's kind of a lot going on & I didn't even list everything! ;) If I see you at any time in the near future and you speak to me....and I just look at you with a blank stare ~~ have mercy. It may take me a sec to focus and process before I can respond.....

‪I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing right this very second.
Information Overload is an understatement.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Praise Him In The Hallway.....

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away....

After three grueling, exhausting & trying days, I made one final walk-thru of the house that was supposed to be a dream home, but was anything but. I've never been a person who put tremendous value on material things and, yes. Blessings, yes. But I've never seen them as a source of happiness. I'll admit to talking to the Lord as I... walked thru, telling Him that I know we're promised a mansion in Heaven....but if He could just prepare a home in a peaceful and tranquil country setting & take note of all the things I had chosen for this house, that I'm fine with waiting till I get there to have it. And that if He could add a wrap-around porch with a porch swing & rocking chairs, that would be perfection. Because although this earthly home had ME written all over it, in the fixtures & finishes, the moldings, the tile, the paint colors, matter how hard I tried, it never was a HOME, in the true sense of the word.

I had to shut off my thoughts there for the time being to avoid the emotions until it was a better time to feel them, loaded the last few belongings in my dear friend's SUV, went back in one last time and glanced quickly around my favorite room in the house {the kitchen }, took the key off my key ring, placed it & the spares in the windowsill, walked outside.....& closed the door & walked away.

Standing here now, in that figurative hallway with what feels like that mountain of stairs that I have to climb.....knowing that, Yes. The Lord giveth....and taketh away. But believing that He doesn't take something away without continuing to give in the process. Wondering what kind of door He's going to give us to walk through and where it will lead.

Just standing here, waiting. And believing. And praising & trusting Him with it all....

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Hit The Road, Jack....

But, we'll get ya back.
Getting some bunny snuggles from Jack before saying goodbye....for now...THANKFUL for sweet friends, for giving him a home for us until we are in a position to give him a home with us again!! Softens the blows a bit. ;) ♥


Saturday, June 21, 2014


 ....that I have a like/dislike relationship with, has been pulling on my heart strings for the past 3 crazy days! He has been confused at the rush of activity, excited at a the packing & loading, then nervous & sulky...& cld often be found inside the Pods as we loaded them, looking at me with sometimes happy, sometimes sad, "I get to go, too, right?? Don't leave me behind"!!

THIS DOG. That I rescued from a shelter as a puppy for my kids, who bounded out of the car, running full speed, bouncing, jumping like a pogo stick (thus his name, Pogo) right towards my kids, knocking one of them down & trying to lick him to death, who drove me crazy & cured my little girl of her fear of dogs, has brought many smiles and a lot of laughter in addition to the aggravation.

THIS DOG. I think I might miss the way he acted like his day was made every time I came home, even if I was only gone for 10 minutes. And his cold wet nose as he nudged me on the backs of my legs every time he walked by. And the way he thought we were going running anytime I had "running clothes" on & he saw running shoes on my he wld immediately come to life, bouncing & running around in circles, looking at me expectantly & running ahead, then stop & look behind himself like, "you're coming, aren't you??? Let's go!!!!!"

THIS DOG. I'll get over it quickly cuz he drove me NUTS with his often disobedient & unruly behavior....but still. Why's he gotta be so cute?? He wanted so badly to come along for the ride...

I'm such a sentimental softie....toughen up, buttercup.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Manic Move....

What kind of friend drives all the way from TN to FL to help you with a rush packing job/move, stays up till 3:45 the night before finishing orders so that she can do so, brings with her all kinds of helpful supplies, makes phone calls, gets info & sets things up for you & tells you what to do cuz you. just. can't. think. & is willing to be your buffer against people if necessary.....and doesn't ask you if she can do these things but just tells you that's how it's gonna be ???

THIS KIND. <3  <3  <3  <3


Could never have done all THIS without her....

That's two 16-ft pods loaded to the max....and we still had to put some things into a 10 ft storage facility.  SO EXHAUSTED....

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Too Many Dr. Appts....Looking for Answers

CT Scan for my girl today......we have been at the dr's office more times in the past month than we have in her whole life.  Trying not to get to concerned before we know what's going on.....but sure would like some answers soon.  Not loving all these dr's appts.....
And, we've got a nice view looking out the window in the waiting area....but these children are noisy up in here!!

Pass the Advil this way, please....but in the meantime, might as well play with the toys....

Friday, June 13, 2014

The Island Life, Mon....

Sweet relatives invited my boys and I to intrude for few days on their Sanibel vacay.....I could get used to the island life, mon.....

My girl was out of town on a choir tour/missions trip or she wld have gone with us!!  I stole a picture from her friend.....while we were beachin' it, she was.....


Was SUPER hard to point my car north and head back to reality.  But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do....

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Never Quit Never

Repeatedly heard this weekend by a certain Never Quit child o' mine, "this is awesome!!! Jacksonville is such an awesome place to live!! This is awesome"!!!

And from the youngest child: "this is actually a lot of fun. I think I might do this with you next year. I'm going to try running more".

And the oldest child had a good time, too. ;)

This mama loves that. ❤

Jacob and I ran the 5K with a group of friends, dressed as our favorite Super Heroes in support of a sweet boy just diagnosed with cancer.   I was Wonder Woman {a lifelong dream fulfilled ;) } and Jacob was Captain America.
Please pray for little Keegan.... :(
A quick pic before the race of me and my boy: