Friday, January 1, 2016
A New Year......She's Back, She's Better & Stronger Than Ever
So...yeah. I had to take some time off. From the blogging world, and from a lot of other parts of the world that was as I knew it, too.
In the past few years, I went through a horrible divorce, lost my dream home, found out my daughter had stage 4b cancer and fought that fight with her, with everything I had in me.
A year ago, we had just gotten home from what we hoped was the final hospitalization. I had lived for 2 years in Crisis and Survival Mode, and the storms I walked through were building long before they all got out of control. When you live like that....when it's "over"....if you're like me, your body, your mind, your heart all say to you...."we've had it....you've gotten your family through all of this and now, we're going to crash". And that's kind of what happened. Shrug. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Which means, listen to that body, mind and heart....keep doing the bare minimum of what it takes to get through life and take care of your kids...but pull back as much as possible to allow all the things you've gone through to hit you. So that you can properly process and deal with it all....and find your way to healing.
And that's just what I did. I thought about deleting my blog, thinking "I'll never get back enough mental energy for that", but could never do it. I thought of deleting it and starting a new one, one that would fit my life now. But I can't do it. All the parts of my past are all part of the me I am today....everything I've lived, all the posts I posted, all part of ME.
So. I'm keeping the old. And embracing the new. And am on my way back....with guidance and dependence on the One who made me, as always. And I'll probably share some of what I've gone through during my time/post gap as I continue this journey. At the time, I was surviving and had nothing in me to give. As time heals and hearts get stronger, though, you get distance & healing, and learn to share again in the hopes of helping others.
I made it through multiple catastrophic storms that could have broken me, and in some ways did. They could have destroyed me....but they didn't. They made me better. And stronger than ever.
I'm so ready for the new year and the new me that He will shape me into along the way, and the new future that He has for me. I'll be working and tweaking here & there, to make the old blog fit the new me....you never know what changes you might find, haha.
Ready, Set, Go. ;)