Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Most Valuable and Fulfilling "Job" ~ A True Calling

Lie # 20.  "A Career Outside The Home Is More Valuable and Fulfilling Than Being a Wife and Mother"

"Women have been liberated right out of the genuine freedom they enjoyed for centuries to oversee the home, rear the children, and pursue personal creativity; they have been brainwashed to believe the absence of a titled, payroll occupation enslaves a woman to failure, boredom, and imprisonment within the confines of the home" ~ Dr. Dorothy Patterson
In reading reviews of Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss on Amazon, this is one of the lies that received the most criticism.  To suggest a woman "give up" some of her independence is not a popular concept these days.  Concepts such as virtue, chastity, submission, discretion, domesticity and modesty have been largely eliminated from our vocabulary and replaced with freedom of choice, divorce, infidelity, and unisex lifestyles, along with a demeaning view of marriage and motherhood.

We are pressured and expected to do more than just be a wife and mother, and many of us who choose to stay at home are often looked down upon and devalued, and sometimes even told that we aren't living up to our potential (yes, I have been told that.....from family as well as others).

If you've read the book, there is a long list of unintended consequences our families and children now face as a result of women's liberation from the mundane life of a homemaker {world's view ~ not mine ; ) }.  I won't list them all, but will focus more on this lie and my response to it.

In Genesis 2:18, we find the first and clearest statement of why God created the woman:  to be a helpmeet to our husbands, to complete him, to be suited to his needs.  Not popular in 2011, wouldn't you agree?  Thus, the criticisms and even anger from women who are outraged at what they see as such an archaic concept.....but God's Truths are just that.  Truth.  The popularity or current world view of the Truth does not make it more or less True.

The woman was uniquely designed and created by God to be a bearer and nurturer of life.  In so many ways, we have been the ability to add life, beauty, fullness, richness, joy, mercy and grace to the family unit.  "There is no greater measure of her worth or success as a woman than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home."  Our lives and ministry as married women and mothers are to be centered around the home.  I don't think this necessarily means that is it wrong for a wife and mother to work outside of the home.  Ms. DeMoss even says that in her book, but I think the offended reviewers must not have seen that part. ; )
Whether we work away from home, work at home, or are blessed to make our home our work......our first priority and calling is to the home and our families. 

I have friends and know many wonderful, loving, Godly women who work full time outside of the home and would never begin to think that they are not fully committed to their first calling.  I am in awe of what they are able to accomplish.....they are able to do things and juggle what I cannot.  I often think, "They are more woman than I can ever be."  But, when I make such a comment to them, they often tell me that they cannot do it all and simply do what has to be done, doing the best they can.

Due to financial struggles, I tried working outside of the home last year and God showed me through that that I am truly CALLED to be at home.  I am also CALLED to homeschool.   I was miserable, exhausted and unhappy......and my family was unhappy as well.   No matter how I tried to force it to work, it just didn't for me.  It wasn't the job, which was a good job with wonderful employers and co-workers.  It was me, and the fact that my fears were controlling my choices and causing me to be unfaithful to MY calling.  In many ways, I am glad I went through the experience last year.  It erased any shadow of doubt of whether being at home and homeschooling was simply what I wanted to do or a true calling.

And so now, I am ♥home♥.   And now there is Sweet Diva, which helps to keep me here.  I work, I homeschool, and I do all the things wives and mothers do.  I get tired.  Honestly, sometimes I wish all I had to do was wifely and motherly duties and homeschool......not because I don't have many varied interests and abilities.  Not because I am not an intelligent, capable woman, but because that is my first calling and I happily embrace it.  I am thankful for it and consider it the most valuable, worthy and worthwhile "job" a woman could ever have.  The "job" we have been given has lasting and eternal significance and should never be looked down upon, belittled or under-valued.

"When mothers see how valuable their contribution can be, they should be overwhelmed with gratitude to God for bestowing such a good work upon them." ~ Praise Her in the Gates

Praise God that He deemed ME worthy.  I often feel that I am not.  How wonderful that He looks beyond our own views of ourselves and bestows upon us the blessings, gifts and callings that are truly immeasurable.
SN (side note) :  Two other books I recommend to remind you of how valuable and worthwhile your 1st calling is:

Praise Her In The Gates and The Fruit of Her Hands, both by Nancy Wilson.

My Mustard Seed Planting verse for the week:

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all. ...She will be rewarded with the fruit of her own hands; and because of her works and deed she will be praised in public places. Proverbs 31:28-29, 31



Jennifer said...

I could have written many parts of this post myself. We have evaluated and re-evaluated my place because of financial and job struggles, and God has always made it clear that I am supposed to be at home too.

Like you, I have been criticized and told I'm not doing what's best for my family. I have to lay it all before Him---because He's the ultimate One I have to answer to.

Thank you for such an encouraging and uplifting post.


Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. The money from a second income is nice, but it does not even begin to compare to being there for your family. Great post.

Warren Baldwin said...

This is true and so well written. Excellent job.

I wonder if you would be willing to use this on the marriage series on Family Fountain as a guest post?


Aurie said...

What a great post! I have so enjoyed your comments with the book - and I'm just about convinced to go out and get it myself :)

Carrie @ Cottage Cozy said...

Thank you for that truth, Jill ♥

Rebecca said...

Jill, Oh, I believed that lie for a long time. God placed a lot of obstacles in my way to get me to listen to him!!

I know some of my family think I should be out working to provide more financial support. I try not to be angry or hurt...and I just pray that God will speak to them!

Thanks for linking up today!

Jill said...

Thank you all for your sweet comments!
Warren, I would love to do that ~ just let me know how to do it!

bettyl said...

Awesome reminder of what we need to be. Thanks.